The Witlessness of Witnesses A Most Intriguing (yet witless!) Essay by: Maitre John Often during criminal procedings, lawyers for the prosecution depend on a wide range of evidence to prove the guilt of of alleged criminals. Forensic evidence such as DNA testing is becoming popular, as is fingerprinting. But what about the so-called All Knowing Eye Witness? Is there a better way to prove one’s guilt than to have someone who can place the individual at the scene of the crime? That is, the question... Eye Witnesses could be one of the most overestimated sources of testimony on the face of our beautiful green planet. who is the one who decided that these pityful excuses of people should determine the fate of another human being? First of all, our witness friend could be an accomplice to the crook who commited this dastardly blasphemy to humanity. Yes, cooperating with the foul monster, telling the tale of what he “saw”, but maybe they didn’t quite see right, eh? Once they’re off the hook, they share the loot, and nothing ever happened... Of course, lawyers in a cross-examination have ways of extracting the truth from these shady gentlemen. Subtle manners to break down the witness until there is nothing left but a pethetic shell of their former self and they feel that there is nothing else to do exept confess their guilt... Another flaw in the concept of Eye Witnesses is the fact that some people enjoy being heroes with the law. As NBC television demonstrated, a Witness may be so convinced that they are obligated to pick somebody out of the crowd, that they may make the mistake that could cost someone their life, one way or another. In conducting an experiment on a class of law-studying students, they had someone steal a purse, and following the usual formalities, let the students attenpt to identify the culprit. Most fascinatingly, however, they misled the students by excluding our crook from lists of photographs and the like. Though some students chose not to attempt to identify anyone, most chose someone, and often it was someone who was innocent, as many had chosen out of a faulty lineup of photos. It is easy to understand why those students would want to help, having witnessed the crime, and it is quite admirable, but people just make errors... Of a similar note, there is another problem with the eyes of our judicial system (pardon the pun). As some people may have noticed in the NBC program, and in such well directed motion pictures as “Twelve Angry Men”, where Eye Witnesses are involved, one phrase may be perceived, and even seen as commonplace. “I think he was wearing a hat, I’m not sure”; “It looked like he had a beard, but I couldn”t quite see...”. Such quotes may prove many peoples undoing. It is obvious that the human body is not perfect, otherwise we would defy Death, but the eyes are something of a special case. The primary sense of the human being is sight, and without highly efficient vision, is would be difficult to survive, no matter the age or era. Therefor, when one’s vision is considered efficent, magnification devices are employed. But where Witnesses are involved, one’s vision efficiency would be placed in question. In addition, one’s memorial capabilities may be questioned. If someone can’t even remember the background actors in the last three motion pictures they saw, there would be room for reasonable doubt... Now, knowing all these things to consider, the question to be posed is this : how can we improve this unfortunate and perpetual problem? Preceding endless biological and psycological research, the following solutions have been determined. They all involve an interesting and unique style of life. The first would involve the production of sophisticated Micro-Hover-Bots, somewhat similar to those portrayed in the Animated Series Production, Sonic the HedgeHog. These machines would be deployed after being programmed to patrol designated urban areas, and would be capable of capturing any criminal acts, provided they were deployed efficiently. An even more interesting idea would be to create replicated Androids to perform similar tasks of patrolling areas and capturing information, and perhaps even attempting the aprehension of the commiters of those criminal acts which they were currently recording. It may even be possible, if technological advancements could be achieved before sabotage and terrorism were implemented, personal cameras could be surgically concealed in individual humans, thereby maintaining a constant surveillance of nearly any location. Within such a dictatorial society, crime without punishment would be all but eradicated. Of course, sabotage would hardly be uncommon, if sucj a conspiracy were to be unveiled... The only other possible way to augment our capabilities as Witnesses is to be taught about it. If there were programs meant to educate people about being involved in a crime, then surely our judicial efficiency would be bolstered... Where did these Eye Witnesses come from? And where are they headed? Although the concept of people telling what they saw was thought to be undeniable, lawyers are questioning witnesses about their own thoughts on a daily basis. The worst part of it all is that with all this doubt, everyone now places in doubt anything that any Witness places before them. The only hope of preserving this type of determination of facts is to study it. But will it disappear before any ways to increase it’s benifits is discovered? Or will it remain the most commonly employed but sometimes life damaging aspect of the judicial system? Only time will tell....